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Oh, and they say romance is dead...

as seen on my student e-mail...



This got sent to me, under the header "Freeze him out with magic", accompanied by the text "Why not give him a surprise this Valentine's Day?" and this text:

"MANILA - Police have ended a grisly search for corpses and mass graves from an election-linked massacre in the southern Philippines, with the known death toll standing at 57, officials said Saturday. Searches for the bird, not the country, experience a massive jump around Thanksgiving and a smaller one around Christmas. By Mark Milian Sorry, Istanbul, we're looking for the bird. A dozen astronauts in orbit will pause for a weightless Thanksgiving Thursday, despite the fact that they're flying on two different spaceships. Brazil's president said that "gringos" should pay Amazon nations to prevent deforestation."

Apparently, nothing is more erotic than erectile dysfunction capsules and grisly rising death tolls. I think I know who is flying in a different spaceship....

Comments

I love how your spam e-mails are always so... different. X-D

So... they're looking for the bird, eh? Give that Cialis a shot and they'll find the bird, LoL. Nudge nudge wink wink and all that.
Someone has apparently got it into their head that I would benefit from a large dose of Cialis, because I seem to get advertisements for it all the time. That and these pointless one-liners, unconnected to any product, such as "Stop devouring these doughnuts and sweet pies! You are ruining your future!" or "Glenda never understood why Robbie seemed disinterested in bed. One day he told her their laundry soap left him with ring around the collar. He served her with divorce papers after the very next wash." Presumably, these are some sort of modern morality tales, the condensed versions, and I usually have a few of them and a couple of random "give her what she's been craving" Viagra ads, which I giggle at endlessly, because on the list of the things I crave, a man filled to the gills with Viagra is somewhere near the bottom. :D

Edited at 2010-02-15 11:05 (UTC)
On some of my older email accounts (that I use for randomly signing up stuff), I get lots of Viagra/Cialis ads, too. But they're nowhere near as interesting as yours. If I receive an email telling me that Jaffa Cakes are ruining my future, though... I will lodge a complaint. LoL.

And I know what you mean about not having a man pumped full of Viagra somewhere on our ultimate wishlist, LoL... but then, we're not sex people (to borrow a term from Alan Partridge X-D), are we?
I really ought to sign up for some more freebie e-mail accounts, so I can register for things and avoid the ads. Not sure at all how that uni e-mail of mine got out, though, as I do try to avoid giving it out. LoL, the day I got the sweet pies one, I kept looking at my body in the mirror stressing someone somewhere had seen me and thought I'd benefit from the message....one should really be careful about sending that to someone who used to struggle with anorectic tendencies.

LoL, whenever I've seen the commercials for it, I've always been really turned off. Especially the "Bob" commercials. Not to make light of someone's physical complaints and their whatnot, just, the way the market it is so cringe-worthy. Just realised I probably shouldn't have typed whatnot...I meant whatever their problem is...oh well. LoL, the whole thing is just quite amusing. I may not have my citizenship anymore but I can still say no sex please, we're British. ;)
I've got hundreds of Yahoo accounts whose names or passwords I've more or less forgotten now. They were mostly from my chatroom days, during which I roleplayed quite a bit, and so I had a username for every character I played (or have ever thought of playing). So that's a hell of a lot of names from Star Trek, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and every other fandom under the sun, LoL.

Myself, I don't use my university e-mail address, but I have a special Gmail account reserved only for university correspondence, and so far that one hasn't received any spam at all.

I thought the sweet pie one might be dangerous thing. They shouldn't be sending out negative messages like that, really. If they have to spam, at least spam people's day with joy...

Bob is the guy with the gigantic smile, right? That one is strange indeed. LoL, making fun of people's whatnot now, are you? ;-) Oh, but you know the British can be terribly randy too sometimes... :-P
I don't have quite that many, but I've gone through a lot. I've used mine for chats and such, too.

We're required to use our uni address, and thus it's the only one I check with any regularity. Usually, I check it twice a day, sometimes more frequently, because everything from class and so forth will be there.

Well, it did make me laugh, but then it made me feel self-conscious. I'm really bad about things like that.

Yes, that's it... :/ And yes, I am, LoL, because I'm unkind that way. Oh yes, Brits can be randy, but the men don't go around smiling about it all the time. And Viagra just seems icky to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KShkhIXdf1Y
What would happen to the uni account when you graduate, though? Would you still have it then? I like having all my correspondence archived forever, because I'm a compulsive hoarder that way.

Well, we all have things we feel really sensitive about. I know there are certain issues that stop me dead in my tracks and make me feel very uncomfortable indeed.

Bloody hell. What sort of people would that ad reel in, I wonder? O_O Aspiring breakdancers who want to do something ridiculously out there? X-D
I've no idea, I'll have to purchase an account then, I suppose.

LoL, I've no idea who is attracted to that, no idea at all. If I were lying on the couch reading a magazine and someone like that came in draped in a towel, I'd run out screaming and call the police, or find some kind of weapon for self-defence. The men are just always so gross in the ads. It's always either some comedy theme or a macho theme, and while I wouldn't particularly care to judge someone for using those pills, I would feel creepy about anyone who thought that kind of thing was sexy.

Bodies are just ick. Neil's over, and I just leaned over and told him that, and he looked up distractedly and said "what?", LoL.
Oh, it's the same with the uni e-mail accounts over here. You might want to forward the e-mails you got from your professor crushes to a more permanent e-mail address, in case you want to look back on them one day, hehe.

I think it's something to do with the fact that they can't exactly straight out say what it's for, so they have to resort to humour, etc. I haven't a clue who'd find that sexy, either. :-/

LoL. He's of a different opinion, I'm sure. But I agree with your sentiment... the only thing they're good for is being whipped, really. :-P
But everybody already knows what they are for, so it's not like anyone would be surprised if they just admitted it. LoL, the whole thing is just stupid.

Yes, very much so. He had some further comments about people's bodies once he figured out what I'd said. I mean, I guess I don't think my body is a terrible thing, but my body has many more purposes than sex, and I'd rather concentrate on the other things. LoL, you and your whipping. I can see what's highest on your list of cravings. ;)
Very true. But I thought it was something required by the TV censors? I don't remember where I heard that now, or if I'm not just making that up, LoL.

Well, I'd really rather we didn't have bodies altogether, but as it is, bodies aren't necessarily a terrible thing. Just, to me, they're so useless. I mean, if I were an athlete, I'm sure I'd feel differently, but I don't use my body for much at all. If I were only a mind connected to a computer, no one would know any different... and I've got a feeling I'd prefer it that way.

Oh, you know me too well... ;-)
Hmm...perhaps. I'm not sure why they'd not be allowed to call it what it is and still have ads like they show. It's much less shocking and less likely to offend to just say this is what the product is, this is what it does and how you can save money on it. The ancient man doing his breakdancing makes the whole thing laughable; I'd think the men who use it would be kind of insulted by that.

Half the time I agree with you, and the other half I like working on old ballet stretches and being able to run or walk about. It really depends. Being judged for your body, though, that we could all do without.

Well, I'm off for a bit, need to study for an exam and I'm going to stop into the library, but I'll be back in an hour or less. :)

People have strange sensibilities. I don't understand it either, most of the time. Like how sometimes very explicit images of male-female sexual interaction is allowed and something like a simple kiss between people of the same sex are censored... :-/ I know I'd certainly be insulted and very embarrassed if I needed something like that and saw the ridiculous ads.

If I don't need to get out of the house or go anywhere at all, I won't have to walk at all, and I definitely won't have things to run away from. :-P But I do hope I'll like swimming once I learn how to do it. And absolutely, being judged for one's physical appearance is just about the worst sort of prejudice, I think. It's one of the things that you just can't help. Unless you're loaded and can go for all the cosmetic procedures you want... but even then, it's a sad state of affairs where people only see the superficial shell instead of the true person underneath.

Oh, good luck with the studying, and the exam when it does come around! :-)